Untangled Thoughts, L.L.C

"Mastering Inner peace: overcoming Childhood and Adulthood traumas-induced Rage"

Wed, 30 Aug 2023 03:28:00 GMT

This is a very sensitive topic, so I hope and pray that my readers take this information I am sharing with respect and with an open heart!

I typically blog things that come forward for me as I have and will always blog on topics I can relate to in some fashion. Weither you have had any type of trauma or not, everyone has a very human emotion that can spark RAGE... SO... this isn't just for victims of trauma, it's a good guideline on how to channel those rageful emotions.

This one hit hard because as I have had to overcome a lot of experiences in my life and as I shared some stories of the rage, I had in my early part of adulthood with a close friend (many years prior to finding my purpose as a life coach), I was reminded of the importance of this topic and wanted to share this in hopes that I can save someone as another had done for me to release that rage to live a better life, in a more positive space and in a much happier place. Not everyone will have the same experiences and reactions or process of healing as others do but self-awareness of this behavior is a very brave and bold thing to do in beginning a healing journey!

If you have read this far, your well on your way to beginning the healing journey you seek! You are not alone, and you are ENOUGH! NEVER FORGET THAT...GOD GAVE US OUR JOURNEY TO MAKE US BETTER NOT BITTER!

Inner peace is a state of calmness and tranquility that allows us to navigate life's challenges with resilience and clarity. However, for many individuals who have experienced childhood or adulthood trauma, finding inner peace can be a daunting journey. Trauma-induced rage, a manifestation of unresolved emotions, can hinder our ability to cultivate inner peace. In this blog post, we will explore practical strategies and techniques to overcome trauma-induced rage and achieve a sense of inner peace.

1. Understanding Trauma-Induced Rage:

- Defining trauma-induced rage and its origins.

- Recognizing the connection between childhood and adulthood trauma and rage.

- The impact of trauma-induced rage on mental health and relationships.

2. Acknowledging and Validating Your Experience:

- Understanding the importance of acknowledging and validating your emotions.

- Creating a safe space for self-reflection and introspection.

- Seeking therapeutic support to process and heal from trauma.

3. Practicing Self-Compassion and Self-Forgiveness:

- Cultivating self-compassion: Learning to be kind and understanding towards yourself.

- Letting go of self-blame and guilt: Recognizing that you are not responsible for the trauma you experienced.

- Practicing self-forgiveness: Releasing the burden of anger and resentment towards yourself.

4. Developing Emotional Regulation Skills:

- Mindfulness and meditation: Techniques to cultivate present-moment awareness and regulate emotions.

- Deep breathing exercises: Utilizing controlled breathing to calm the nervous system.

- Journaling: A tool for processing emotions and gaining insight into triggers and patterns.

5. Seeking Support and Healing:

- Therapy and counseling: Engaging in talk therapy/life coach or trauma-focused therapy/life coach to work through unresolved trauma. In addition, it's important to keep in mind a life coach helps you to move forward after you have received therapy and made peace with the trauma in order to move your life forward!

- Support groups: Connecting with others who have experienced similar trauma to share experiences and gain support.

- Holistic approaches: Exploring alternative therapies such as yoga, acupuncture, or art therapy to aid in healing.

**** I Choose a boxing class... It seems like a brutal way to control rage, but it taught me so much about channeling energy to something less violent on others, discipline, self-control, focus and controlled behavior. It's all relevant to personality type and the way we process our emotions in our environment. I no longer take boxing classes and have moved to a more peaceful place of focus through meditation and yoga. It

's a great shift to my personal journey and breakthrough in transformation!

6. Setting Boundaries and Practicing Self-Care:

- Establishing healthy boundaries with yourself and others to protect your well-being.

- Prioritizing self-care activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.

- Engaging in activities that bring you joy, peace, and relaxation.

Conclusion:

Overcoming trauma-induced rage and mastering inner peace is a deeply personal and transformative journey. By acknowledging your experiences, practicing self-compassion, developing emotional regulation skills, seeking support, and prioritizing self-care, you can gradually heal from past traumas and create a foundation for inner peace. Remember, healing takes time and patience, but with determination and the right tools, you can overcome trauma-induced rage and embrace a life filled with inner peace and well-being.

I hope this blog was informative and if you like to follow me on more information on many LIFE ALTERING related topics to help YOU in moving forward in life, follow me on my social media Facebook page. the link is attached on main page. Click on Facebook icon and say hello! The feedback drives me to continue my purpose in helping others the way I have helped so many others. Starting with myself so I could be the best version of myself so I can be the best version for others!

SHINE BRIGHT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE!!! :)

"Doomscrolling "

Wed, 30 Aug 2023 02:25:00 GMT

This is a very interesting topic that undoubtedly has affected my life and it's also referred to as "MEDIA SATURATION OVERLOAD" I recently made a post on my Facebook social media page that you can read by clicking the Facebook link attached to my website with some different perspectives.

Before I get into that let me share a bit about how it affected me! I used to suffer from cronic insomnia so I thought scrolling through social media would help me to shut my mind down, which in turn caused it to get worse and before I knew it, the sun was coming up, and no adequate rest was happening. I was consumed with hours and hours of scrolling. That the pandemic and election year happened and i was so addicted to learning more which sent me spiraling out of control! As a life coach and not getting adequate rest, that was not productive time well spent! When I heard of this concept that "doomscrolling" or "media saturation overload" can affect my mental health, I read more into it and found a few great ways to break that bad habit that was affectingly mental wellness. Now I am in control of the time I allow myself to spend scrolling through social media and myself control over time spent watching the news on a need-to-know basis and social media for business and short intervals scrolling through social media and immediately my mental state had changed, and I am able to focus on what's important!

Some may never had heard of this concept so i hope this information I provide you below is as helpful for you as it was for me!

We need to be an advocate for ourselves in protecting our peace and giving ourselves permission to step away from what's going on in the world for the sake of self-love and our mental wellness!

Stay blessed and grounded! Your only as good for others as you are to yourself! Shine bright for the world to see!

__________________________________________________________________________________

"Doomscrolling: Breaking Free from the Cycle of Negative News Consumption"

Introduction:

In today's digital age, where information is readily available at our fingertips, it's easy to get caught up in a cycle of doomscrolling. This term refers to the act of endlessly scrolling through social media or news platforms, consuming a constant stream of negative and distressing news. While staying informed is important, doomscrolling can have detrimental effects on our mental health and overall well-being. In this blog post, we'll explore the concept of doomscrolling, its impact on our lives, and strategies to break free from this harmful habit.

1. Understanding Doomscrolling:

- Definition of doomscrolling and its origins.

- The psychology behind why we engage in doomscrolling.

- How the constant flood of negative news affects our mental health.

2. The Impact on Mental Health:

- Anxiety and stress: Examining the connection between doomscrolling and heightened anxiety levels.

- Sleep disturbances: How excessive exposure to negative news can disrupt our sleep patterns.

- Overwhelm and emotional exhaustion: The cumulative impact of consuming distressing content.

3. Breaking Free from Doomscrolling:

- Recognizing the signs of doomscrolling and its impact on your well-being.

- Setting boundaries: Establishing limits on news consumption and social media usage.

- Curating your news feed: Tips for filtering out negative content and focusing on more positive information.

- Practicing self-care: Strategies for managing stress and anxiety when confronted with negative news.

- Engaging in alternative activities: Redirecting your attention towards activities that promote positivity and well-being.

4. Building a Healthy Relationship with News:

- Developing a mindful news consumption habit: How to stay informed without falling into the doomscrolling trap.

- Seeking reliable sources: Tips for finding trustworthy news outlets and avoiding misinformation.

- Finding a balance: Striking a balance between staying informed and protecting your mental health.

Conclusion:

Doomscrolling can be a difficult habit to break, but by understanding its impact and implementing strategies to manage our news consumption, we can regain control over our well-being. Remember, staying informed is important, but prioritizing our mental health should always come first.

By following the tips and techniques outlined in this blog post, you can free yourself from the endless cycle of doomscrolling and cultivate a healthier relationship with the news.

* Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more insightful topics ...The feedback motivates me to keep creating content that helps us all for the betterment of the world around us! :)

Beautiful things grow in a hard place!

Tue, 18 Apr 2023 00:52:00 GMT

Hello Beautiful humans! So, this is a very personal post for me because I completely identify with this in my life right now and have in my past! (I may be a life coach but I'm human) The one thing I'm sure of and I say often are two things that seem very cliche' but so necessary to remember when things in any area of your life seem hopeless or bleak. One is that "This too shall pass" and the other one that really resonates with me is something I tell people all the time and as I write this I am reminded of its impact. That one is "We do our best work in our darkest places!" I cannot speak for anyone but myself ....but for me, when struggling or uncomfortable with any area in my life I tend to be the type to jump into action and make life work in my favor and although I do not recommend intentional sabotage to shine brighter, my point is that if things seem grim I do not dwell long on the "what coulda, shoulda, woulda" I don't think of a road bump as " why is this happening to me?" what I ask myself is what is this specific situation teaching me? I always try to remember that negative or painful things may happen to good people because they tell us that something greater is waiting on the other side! I am reminded with a YouTube video someone I respected very much sent me a year ago called "I MUST KEEP GOING" by a motivational speaker Marcus Elevation Taylor. He speaks on changing your perspective! Go back to the drawing board, change perspectives, and take this time to THANK EVEN INVITE the loss and consider the circumstance that has caused an unexpected change in direction as an opportunity to Grow! For anyone who is questioning these same things remember we are all human and things will affect our lives, but the impact can be earth shattering or an opportunity to soar and achieve the goals, purpose and passions that will force us into the greatness we are designed for! It's ONLY OUR choice to decide to be defeated or to DOMINATE! I CHOOSE HAPPINESS AND TO DOMINATE and EMBRACE the opportunity to push me out of my comfort zones to achieve greatness! I have been called to be the one who will be necessary, the game changer, the difference maker, and the person who comes into the room and commands the atmosphere because there is a flaming inferno of hope, love and passion to help myself and others change mindset and perspectives to be better humans for the better of the world! This is a MOVEMENT that I will continue to be an example of TRANSFORMATION! I MUST KEEP GOING AND I MUST STAY THE PATH AND BLOOM BEAUTIFUL EVEN IN A HARD PLACE! There is no other way but up for me!

Thank you for reading. If this was helpful leave a like or you would like to leave a comment or question, I would appreciate the feedback!

Shine bright for the world to see!!!

5 weaknesses all narcissists have but dont want you to know!

Thu, 30 Mar 2023 07:12:00 GMT

Number 1: Lack of self-reflection.

In order to mature, we must accept the defects and failures that we all have from time to time, because taking into account all of these weaknesses and mistakes will eventually help a person grow. But what happens when it comes to a narcissist? Everything that is wrong in their life is someone else’s fault, they can never make a mistake, and as a result, they remain trapped in a never-ending cycle of victimhood.

They want to be seen as ultimate and perfect, yet in truth and practice, they are victims of their own Deeds. They never mature because they never learn from their mistakes, which is due to the fact that they never identify their mistakes in the first place. Growth is lacking in their lives, which is why if you leave a narcissist in a psychological situation or in any other fashion, you will find them in the same state 10 years from now. That’s for sure.

Number 2: They do not believe in working together and only want to compete.

A narcissist is very self-absorbed; they are only concerned about themselves. It is their well-being that is most important. However, in an environment where teamwork is required for progress, this can be extremely dangerous. If you’re in a situation where you’re only focusing on yourself, how will you progress if you’re not accepting any form of assistance?

Let’s take a look at a situation where two parents are co-parenting, and both are supposed to be involved in the proper upbringing of the kids. However, the narcissist just cares about winning the kid’s favor. They want to be the more likable parent out of the two, and they want the kids to elevate this narcissist on a pedestal. What this does is destroy the children because the narcissist is unconcerned about discipline or the impact of a lack of boundaries. The narcissist is unconcerned about uplifting or lifting the children or indulging them, they are unconcerned about the trauma it creates.

Essentially, as a co-parent, they would do anything to ensure that they won against you and that you appeared to be the insane one. However, the children may take more of the narcissist side and isolate you, keep some form of distance from you, or believe that you are a horrible parent in comparison to The Narcissist. Everything you do with them is a competition. It can never be cooperation because for it to be collaboration, The Narcissist must think beyond himself. They must consider you and your requirements, which they’re unable to do. The only person, the only needs that matter to them are their own needs.

Number 3: They are constantly bored, and their hobbies are short-lived.

Narcissists are entirely disconnected from their actual selves, which makes feelings of satisfaction and gratitude exceedingly difficult for them to experience, why? Because being satisfied is more of an emotional condition than having all of the materialistic and flashy things around you to feel satisfied. It has nothing to do with your financial situation. Of course, the quality and quantity of things contribute to the level of happiness, but ultimately, your way of experiencing fulfillment is pretty unique to who you are as a person, what you want in your life, and how you define it, but nothing is ever enough for a narcissist, that is why their interest is changing.

Basically, they are uninterested in anything, it’s like they’re attempting to fill a big black hole with nothing. They switch from one interest to the next and are Changing Partners frequently. They have a habit of hoarding cars, shifting houses, and doing strange things, but what are they thinking? Because for one thing, they’re dissatisfied with what they have, they do not understand what it means to be satisfied and are disconnected from themselves.

Second, they must have that intense sense of high that you get as an addict when you use the substance, and this is the exact same feeling of satisfaction they feel every time they buy a new car or a new house. They’re with this new person and they have to persuade them, woo them, and make them fall in love with them. This is all insane and shallow and it never allows a narcissist to live a peaceful life.

Number 4: Their fear of being embarrassed makes them concerned about how they appear in public.

Narcissists may not appear to be embarrassed by anything, but the truth is, they are extremely ashamed of who they are. This shame is something they constantly avoid, and if anything triggers it, it will get the narcissist’s rage. Therefore, always consider this in your interactions with them, a simple statement, or a slight comment would summon a monster from the narcissist and you’d be left wondering, what the heck happened? That’s the kind of embarrassment that shows how insecure they really are.

However, they’re trapped in a loop of running away from the humiliation and awarding the shame, and one of the ways they do this is by maintaining a façade. A facade of being outstanding, great, wonderful, kind, caring, high class, whatever it takes for them to be seen as acceptable worthy of recognition, and Superior to everyone else. In the process of maintaining this façade, they use a lot of energy, only to ensure that people do not see their true colors. And the sad part of this story is that they sacrifice their loved ones in the process of doing so.

For example, narcissistic parents who are concerned with their Public Image will use their children and spouse as trophies to exhibit them in public and gain approval or praise via them, without even caring about how being used as a trophy impacts their children or marriage. This is why it is claimed that narcissists exploit you as objects, and this objectification becomes extremely evident when they strive to maintain the illusion and avoid the humiliation that they profoundly feel.

Number 5: Their whole personality type is based on addiction.

Their whole personality pattern is founded on addiction because they’re addicted to the highs they feel when they are with people or when they buy items. It’s all about getting that Supply, and a narcissist might receive it in a variety of ways: Some of them are sex addicts, others are addicted to money, while others are addicted to heavy drugs, alcohol, and so on . Their life is dependent entirely on a substance and object or something other than their own genuine self, making them more codependent than codependents themselves.

Narcissists fear being alone, they can’t manage it, which is why they have to keep themselves distracted at all times. They lack emotional control and must rely on things, products, and people to help them regulate themselves and feel better. Their entire life revolves around the loss of control, despite the fact that they look to be confident They tell us that this kind of person doesn’t know how to deal with their emotions, so we’re basically dealing with a child trapped in an adult body . The majority of their life is mostly spent on pursuing things and a recurrent pattern of addiction in which a narcissist travels from one substance to the next, one person to the next, and one thing to the next. pretend to have everything under control. They have no control over themselves whatsoever. What do those fits tantrums and outbreaks of rage tell us?

A Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse (A Guide To Narcissistic Abuse Recovery And Healing From A Narcissistic Relationship).

Recommended: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.

Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.

If you found this blog/Article helpful, I would appreciate a like or comment your feedback below!

Shine Bright for the world to see!!

Jenn

What is a Narcissist?

Thu, 30 Mar 2023 06:41:00 GMT

I get this question a lot and I've struggled with grasping the true meaning of this diagnoses which I've talked to many practitioners about and it's really an undiagnosable illness because the person being tested is answering the questions based on what the practitioner wants to hear because they don't want to be discovered or diagnosed and most people who have narcissistic traits are in complete denial that They are not in control. There is so many articles and studies done on narcissism but I've yet to read a clear definition of what this actually is! Especially since this term is just gotten more popular in the last few years. I wondered if it was even a thing or just another over diagnosed illness created to be technically diagnosed to appeal to anyone wanting to put a name to a dysfunctional place in another individual's life. After so much research, reading and studying I will simply explain this word Narcissism as someone who is mentally abusive to another person regardless of if it's a spouse, friend, parent or anyone that the Narcissist wants to control.

We all know there are many forms of abuse especially in relationships but the focus on physical abuse has overshadowed the mental abuse anyone can endure, so to describe this in a separate category, the true term is called narcissism! We have all hear the term "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!" That is a fairy tale because as I have been personally physically and mentally abused, I would much rather not be abused at all however, bruises heal but the pain internally that a narcissist inflicts is something that never really leaves our soul. Now I know that there may be some conflicting comments regarding my perception and experience, but I speak from the truth in my heart! Let me explain that I absolutely do not discredit the pain created by someone's actions in a dysfunctional and abusive relationships! ALL FORMS OF ABUSE ARE ABSOLUTELY UNNACCEPTABLE! However, the manipulation and calculated behavior created by a narcissist are, in my opinion, the deepest most cruel form of abuse that cuts the victim to the core and is much harder to repair! This victim will sustain so much mental trauma that takes years to repair and rehabilitate from. It strips us of self-esteem, feeling unconditional love from others, trust to anyone who will enter our lives in the future, we will constantly question our worth and sanity, shutting down and shutting out the positive productive relationships that may influence us to remind us of our worth and beauty within, the feeling of shame and guilt and despair creep in when we think of a failed relationship that you gave your all to and thought you could have done better, you will question every single decision you will make in every aspect of your life and hopelessness, depression, helplessness and building walls to not let the light in will create a ripple effect of catastrophic proportions in your life unless you seek help of someone who can help you begin to rebuild your self-esteem and bring back your shine and empower you with the right tools and resources you will continue to attract these same type of people.

If a victim of physical abuse is brave enough to escape the abuser with time and support and professional help statistically, they are empowered and rehabilitated much quicker than one of a Dysfunctional Narcissistic abusive relationship. Reason being is that the NARC is so manipulative that they make you believe you're the problem and they are of no fault! So, you start to question your own sanity and actions because that's how a NARC gains control! When you're at your weakest most vulnerable state!

Do I believe that someone who displays Narcissistic tendencies can rehabilitate and be fixed? Absolutely, but no one besides themselves will be able to convince the NARC that change needs to be made and that they are categorized with this dysfunctional behavior, It takes only the NARC alone to discover this personality flaw and be honest and truthful with themselves to get help in how to change these behaviors so that they can have healthy productive non-dysfunctional relationships that last forever. Cognitive behavior change, Communication training, and learning how to cope with giving up control of their impulsive emotions and projecting them onto others that they love or love them!

The only true way to get a proper diagnosis and treatments is if the narcissist accepts that there is something in their life that needs to be changed and stop blaming others for their behavior. If someone is called a narcissist in every relationship prior to your encounter, and they don't take into consideration that it may just be possible but can be fixed, then more than likely they will sail through life moving to person to person with the same behavior and never find true happiness and in the meantime, they have destroyed the spirit of all the people they abused along the way!

I hope that victims and NARCS find this blog useful and hopefully a wakeup call for both alike and find a way to change not only in the case of the NARC, but in the victims, case find some peace and clarity that you're not alone and there is help!

My next blog is one of the articles I have read recently that is very informative and identifiable for me personally. It really breaks down what traits NARCS display to assess if you are a victim of a NARC or a NARC who needs to seek assistance in behavior change to live a healthy happy life with someone without this repetitive behavior. It's called "5 weaknesses all narcissists have but don't want you to know."

If you find this blog useful or would like to leave me feedback, please leave a like or comment below!

Shine bright for the world to see!!

Jenn

Visibility roadblocks

Tue, 14 Mar 2023 20:28:00 GMT

7 WAYS TO BREAK THROUGH YOUR VISIBILITY ROADBLOCKS

When we talk about getting visible, we have to talk about getting uncomfortable. Because the truth of the matter is that for many of us, especially at the beginning, being visible IS uncomfortable.

We don’t love posting on Facebook. We don’t want our family and friends seeing us when we’re not yet “successful". We’re nervous to get on Facebook live – or submit a guest post. We overthink what we say, how we look, or how others might react. We wonder whether or not people will like what we have to say or if they might have something negative to say back.

At the heart of the matter, we’re asking ourselves…What if I get rejected? Or criticized? Or humiliated?

And I get it. These fears are common for so many of us. But the thing is that, for the most part, these fears are imagined danger – and they’re definitely not a reason to stay quiet or hidden. We’ve got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Here are 7 ways to help you work through those roadblocks:

MAKE VISIBILITY A HABIT

I often hear people say things like “I’m just not someone who posts everyday” or “I just don’t do Facebook groups” or “Visibility is NOT easy for me.”

And ya know what? A lot of that might be true, it might be mindset blocks, but even more so… it’s probably just because visibility isn’t a habit (yet).

Just like working out three times a week, being visible is a habit and a muscle we need to flex.

The thing with habits is if we try and do all the things, we get overwhelmed and give up.

Pick one or two things you can do each day in order to get visible and commit to doing them every single day. Maybe you want to get on Facebook Live once a day or post three times in Facebook groups. Whatever it is, pick something manageable that you’re actually excited about doing.

SHOW UP AND BE YOURSELF

The most important thing you have to do today is show up and be yourself.

Seriously. That’s it.

Being visible and sharing our story is our number one job as business owners.

It’s through this process that we attract our ideal career or position, build nontoxic relationships, and establish ourselves as experts of who we are! If you don’t show up, people can’t find you, hire you, or connect with you!

DO THE WORK…NO SHORTCUTS

“It seems like most of online marketing is about telling people you can help them pick the lock.”

Why? Because that’s what most people want to hear.

That there’s an “easy” (remember ease is different than EASY) way to success, that we don’t have to show up and do the work consistently.

But what would happen if you ignored all of those quick tickets to success and started just giving yourself the space to do the work instead of chasing the next thing?

What might happen in your life or career then?

I’d bet something pretty miraculous. Like real income, real results, and real fulfillment.

GO OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE

I see too many entrepreneurs staying stuck because they’re not willing to consistently go outside of their comfort zone.

As someone I follow, Neale Donald Walsch says, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

So does business.

It’s about getting comfortable being uncomfortable and pushing yourself to take that courageous action consistently to create those serious results you desire.

CREATE AND IMPLEMENT A VISIBILITY PLAN

Getting visible can feel really stressful when you’re trying to create content in the moment and you’re fresh out of ideas.

If you have a visibility plan in place and content created in advance, you’ll have the freedom and peace of mind to take a day off or go on vacation without worrying your audience will forget about you. Not only that, but your audience will also learn to expect what kind of content you’ll be sharing and when.

If you add it into your visibility plan that you want to go live at 3 PM, you’ll start to notice more and more people joining your lives when they’ve seen you do it more than once and they know to look out for it at 3.

And on the days, you don’t want to go live or think about business at all, you’ll have some pre-made content ready to go and engage your audience while you kick your feet up and watch some Netflix.

GET VULNERABLE

More than almost anything else, I think vulnerable visibility has the power to change our lives and businesses in an instant. That one livestream or post where you get super real with your audience can expand your community exponentially and skyrocket you to beloved expert status.

If you build your visibility plan around vulnerable visibility, showing up won’t feel like a chore. It might feel scary at times to speak your truth and share your struggles, but you’re going to have an audience that loves you for being real to cheer you on.

REWARD YOURSELF

A lot of people struggle to make visibility a habit because they aren’t seeing the rewards they want right away. Why not create those rewards for yourself?

If you have a favorite self-care practice like meditation, mani-pedis, or bubble baths, use it to reward yourself for getting visible.

Maybe going live totally stresses you out but you know it gets a ton of engagement and it’s something you want to work on. Encourage yourself to go live by doing something fun like a bubble bath after every livestream as a reward for being consistently visible.

Sooner or later, your brain is going to start associating visibility with relaxation time, which I think is an all-around win-win.

I really believe there’s no right or wrong way to get visible, and that there are multiple paths to standing out online. However, you decide to approach visibility, you have to find a way to make people know you’re there.

Remember that people can’t pay you if they can’t find you, and as a CEO you need to care about making money.

I know there are a lot of people out there who try to turn visibility into rocket science with buzzwords and algorithms, but at the end of the day it’s just about showing up in the same place every day.

What holds you back when it comes to being more visible in your life or business? Where do you need support around that?

Im open to comments and questions...who will take the leap into a better life being visible?

If you like this share the love and inspiration below

Shine bright for the world to see!

Jennifer

What is a life Coach?

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 02:22:00 GMT

What is a life coach? A life coach is a supportive professional who uses a set of tools and techniques to help you get clarity, identify and overcome obstacles, and attain your goals.

Most of us could benefit from the guidance and support of effective life coaching services in building the life we desire for ourselves. If you’re feeling stuck at work, would like to build a healthy relationship, or are just generally feeling unfocused and dissatisfied with your life, your first instinct may be to seek out the services of a therapist. But for high-functioning people who aren’t suffering from a mental health condition, life coaching can actually be a more satisfying experience and a better use of time and money than traditional psychotherapy.

Why? There are so many benefits of life coaching, and the coaching process often feels like a faster and more direct route to helping you make real and lasting positive changes in your life (especially in comparison to slow, introspective, past-or-pathology focused therapy).

Effective life coaching can help you gain insight and get clear about what you want, understand the obstacles in your path, and the best strategies to traverse them. The best coaching experiences are life-changing in terms of personal growth, leaving you with a stronger sense of who you are, what’s most important to you, and how to get it. Working with the wrong coach, however, could be counterproductive, or even dangerous in some cases.

I hope that, by answering the questions “what is a life coach” and “what does a life coach do” this article gives you a clear idea of what to expect from life coaching, as well as how to avoid some of the industry’s biggest pitfalls.

What Does a Life Coach Do?

Let’s tackle some of these coaching questions together. Broadly, a life coach is a professional dedicated to helping you achieve your most important personal and professional goals, improve your relationships, increase your life satisfaction and happiness, and grow as a person. Unlike therapy, coaching focuses less on analyzing the past, and more on creating new self-awareness and an action-oriented plan to move forward.

But in order to increase your understanding of what life coaching is, and what life coaches do, it’s really important to understand what life coaching is not. That will help you achieve clarity and enable you to make informed choices about whether or not coaching is right for you.

What a Life Coach is Not

While there’s much overlap between counseling vs coaching, it is extremely important to understand two things:

1. The coaching “profession” is not regulated.

2. Coaching is not mental health treatment.

Coaching is a completely unregulated profession thing that people do. True professional titles are regulated. For example, nobody is legally allowed to represent themselves as “marriage and family therapist” or a “psychologist” unless they have successfully completed all of the requirements set forth by state licensing boards to become licensed as such.

This includes things like getting a graduate degree that covered specific coursework requirements, accumulating thousands of clinical experience hours under the supervision of a senior therapist, and passing national board exams — the whole enchilada. It’s a lot. It took me, personally, over ten years to do all the things I needed to do in order to legally be able to represent myself an MFT and a psychologist.

There is not even a whiff of that when it comes to calling yourself a coach, life coach, career coach, dating coach, etc. Life coaches are not required to have any specific educational background, license, or certification. You do not need a high-school diploma, you do not need to be a citizen, and you do not need to not be a registered sex offender. Literally anyone can call themselves a coach and begin selling their services to potential clients, without taking a class or even reading a book on the subject.

Want to be a life coach? Poof! [Lisa waggles magic fingers in your direction.] You are now a life coach, just like approximately 15% of the residents of California. Godspeed.

This rolls through to the next important thing to know, which is that life coaches are not mental health professionals, and that life coaching is not mental health treatment.

What a Life Coach Does Not Do

Even if someone goes through the trouble of taking an (also completely unregulated) online course or program to obtain a coaching credential they are not qualified to identify, much less treat, any type of mental health condition.

AND, furthermore, even a licensed therapist who provides coaching, like myself, cannot, and should not, use coaching methods to diagnose or treat any kind of mental health condition. I have people reach out to me all the time for coaching but after learning more about what’s going on, I need to refer them for therapy instead, because I know that coaching will not be helpful for them until their psychiatric symptoms have been successfully treated.

These boundaries and distinctions are so vital to understand, because many people unconsciously lump therapists and life coaches together in one general “mental health professionals” bucket in their mind (along with social workers, who are also trained to do a completely different thing than either therapy or coaching).

This “mental health professionals” bucket sits between the “financial professionals” bucket (containing everybody from the bank teller, the H&R block tax person, the CPA, and the hedge fund manager) and the “medical professionals” bucket (containing the phlebotomist, nurse practitioner, cardiologist, radiologist, dermatologist, person wielding vaccine shots at the Walgreens pharmacy counter, and Dr. Oz.)

Obviously, as we peer into these mental buckets together, we know that these professionals are very different although they occupy the same broad category. Your bank teller, assuming you still engage in such antiquated activities as visiting a bank, has no idea whether you should buy or sell, or the tax implications of either. The person at the Walgreens counter cannot look at an image of your lungs and know whether or not it’s cancer. And, it would be weird to ask them, right?

But people go to self-anointed life coaches all the time for assistance with things that are on the same order of magnitude in terms of importance. “Should I leave my husband? What will this do to our kids?” “What career path should I devote the next forty years of my life to?” “Why do I feel so bad about myself and my life? What is wrong with me?” Concerning, for sure, that people are placing the trajectory of their lives in the hands of “coaches” with a good TikTok game.

But the most important and serious thing to know here is that, unless your coach is also a licensed therapist, they are not qualified to diagnose or treat mental health conditions. If you’re experiencing a mental health disorder, coaching will not alleviate your symptoms, and in some cases could even make them worse. You need (and deserve) competent, evidence-based therapy.

So, with this (hopefully) clear understanding of what a life coach is not, now we can turn our attention to understanding what a life coach is. Next, we’ll talk about what life coaches do, the different types of coaches, and how working with a skilled and competent coach can help you make real and lasting positive changes in important areas of your life.

10 tips for relaxation

Wed, 08 Mar 2023 18:43:00 GMT

Relaxation techniques: Try these steps to reduce stress

Relaxation techniques can reduce stress symptoms and help you enjoy a better quality of life, especially if you have an illness. Explore relaxation techniques you can do by yourself.

By Mayo Clinic Staff

Relaxation techniques are a great way to help with stress management. Relaxation isn't only about peace of mind or enjoying a hobby. It's a process that decreases the stress effects on your mind and body. Relaxation techniques can help you cope with everyday stress. And these techniques can help with long-term stress or stress related to various health problems, such as heart disease and pain.

Whether your stress is spiraling out of control or you've already got it tamed, you can benefit from learning relaxation techniques. Learning basic relaxation techniques is easy. Relaxation techniques are often free or low cost, pose little risk, and can be done nearly anywhere.

Explore simple relaxation techniques and get started on de-stressing your life and improving your health and overall well-being.

The benefits of relaxation techniques

When faced with many responsibilities and tasks or the demands of an illness, relaxation techniques may not be a priority in your life. But that means you might miss out on the health benefits of relaxation.

Practicing relaxation techniques can have many benefits, such as:

• Slowing heart rate

• Lowering blood pressure

• Slowing breathing rate

• Improving digestion

• Controlling blood sugar levels

• Reducing activity of stress hormones

• Increasing blood flow to major muscles

• Reducing muscle tension and chronic pain

• Improving focus and mood

• Improving sleep quality

• Lowering fatigue

• Reducing anger and frustration

• Boosting confidence to handle problems

To get the most benefit, use relaxation techniques along with other positive coping methods, such as:

• Thinking positively

• Finding humor

• Problem-solving

• Managing time and priorities

• Exercising regularly

• Eating a healthy diet

• Getting enough sleep

• Spending time outside

• Reaching out to supportive family and friends

Types of relaxation techniques

Health care providers such as complementary and integrative health specialists and mental health providers can teach many relaxation techniques. But you can also learn some relaxation techniques on your own.

In general, relaxation techniques involve refocusing your attention on something calming and increasing awareness of your body. It doesn't matter which relaxation technique you choose. What matters is that you try to practice relaxation regularly to reap its benefits.

Types of relaxation techniques include:

• Autogenic relaxation. Autogenic means something that comes from within you. In this relaxation technique, you use both visual imagery and body awareness to reduce stress.You repeat words or suggestions in your mind that may help you relax and reduce muscle tension. For example, you may imagine a peaceful setting. Then you can focus on relaxing your breathing, slowing your heart rate, or feeling different physical sensations, such as relaxing each arm or leg one by one.

• Progressive muscle relaxation. In this relaxation technique, you focus on slowly tensing and then relaxing each muscle group.This can help you focus on the difference between muscle tension and relaxation. You can become more aware of physical sensations.In one method of progressive muscle relaxation, you start by tensing and relaxing the muscles in your toes and progressively working your way up to your neck and head. This is best done in a quiet area without interruptions. You can also start with your head and neck and work down to your toes. Tense your muscles for about five seconds and then relax for 30 seconds, and repeat.

• Visualization. In this relaxation technique, you may form mental images to take a visual journey to a peaceful, calming place or situation.To relax using visualization, try to include as many senses as you can, such as smell, sight, sound and touch. If you imagine relaxing at the ocean, for instance, think about the smell of salt water, the sound of crashing waves and the warmth of the sun on your body.You may want to close your eyes, sit in a quiet spot, loosen any tight clothing, and focus on your breathing. Aim to focus on the present and think positive thoughts.

Other relaxation techniques may include:

• Deep breathing

• Massage

• Meditation

• Tai chi

• Yoga

• Biofeedback

• Music and art therapy

• Aromatherapy

• Hydrotherapy

Relaxation techniques take practice

As you learn relaxation techniques, you can become more aware of muscle tension and other physical sensations of stress. Once you know what the stress response feels like, you can make a conscious effort to practice a relaxation technique the moment you start to feel stress symptoms. This can prevent stress from spiraling out of control and decreasing your quality of life.

Remember that relaxation techniques are skills. As with any skill, your ability to relax improves with practice. Be patient with yourself. Don't let your effort to practice relaxation techniques become yet another stressor.

If one relaxation technique doesn't work for you, try another technique. If none of your efforts at stress reduction seems to work, talk to your health care provider about other options.

Also, keep in mind that some people, especially those with serious mental health issues and a history of abuse, may experience feelings of emotional discomfort during some relaxation techniques. Although this is rare, if you experience emotional discomfort during relaxation techniques, stop what you're doing. Consider talking to your health care provider or mental health provider.

Helpful article written by the Mayo Clinic

IF YOU LIKED THIS ARTICLE AND FOUND IF HELFUL PLEASE LIKE OR COMMENT BELOW �� SO I KNOW THIS WAS A GOOD RESOURCE **

⭐️SHINE BRIGHT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE!!⭐️

What is Bigger....

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 00:00:00 GMT

MY FEAR or MY PURPOSE?!?!

This is a great Question that can be applied to any circumstance or area of your life that you may face!

This is officially my first blog post and after months of reframing the masterpiece of my purpose and profession, I navigate through my days stumbling on more opportunities arise and I often fall into self- doubt and fear! Somewhere along the way, in the past, I would lose myself in anxiety and overthinking every small detail. Old habits don't die hard it turns out; However, I revert to my training and positive experiences to guide me and remind myself of this one small question! This one question always resets my mindset and I feel empowered, push myself out of my comfort zones and make the right decision which just directs me towards my maximum potential. My purpose always wins!

Being COMFORTABLE or MAXIMUM POTENTIAL?!?!

After spending many years getting by and being "comfortable" I realized life is too short to just be comfortable and prefer to live up to my MAXIMUM POTENTIAL but first I had to figure out what that meant for myself and how would I know I made it there!!! I think it's a very valid question we all should ask ourselves when we come to a place, we need to do an inventory check! Ask yourself those same 2 questions and clearly define what that looks like for you and manifest it!

IF YOU CAN VISUALIZE IT, YOU CAN BECOME IT!

*If you liked this blog please like or share a comment below ��

Shine Bright for the world to see!!

5 secrets to finding happiness after Trauma

Fri, 28 Oct 2022 20:47:00 GMT

RESENSITATION: COMING BACK TO LIFE AFTER TRAUMA

A helpful article published by "GOOD THERAPY"

Trauma dysregulates the body. It moves energy levels away from baseline to extremes of hyperarousal (“too much,” panic, overwhelm) and sometimes hypoarousal (“low,” lethargy, emptiness), not only alternating but sometimes getting stuck in either extreme.

When we experience overwhelm in the body, one natural response to this dysregulation (and accompanying confusion or relational struggles) is to just get away—perhaps through drinking, sex, anxiety medication, working out, or power-watching television series online. For some, especially when trauma occurs early in life or when physical escape is not an option, dissociation (mentally drifting, wandering, “spacing out”) becomes the path to something that approximates peace or safety. Whatever route you take to numbness, it ultimately leads to separation from overwhelming sensory input coming through the body. Studies have shown that even when mental denial occurs, when we tell ourselves we are not upset, our body still shows all the standard symptoms of activation and overwhelm.

Big names in trauma, including Peter Levine and Bessel van der Kolk, advocate not for desensitization approaches that dull perception (repetitive reprocessing of trauma), but for practices that resensitize somatically to awareness of the present moment, the physical narrative, and an embodied experience of safety and control.

FIND A TRAUMA RECOVERY COACH OR THERAPIST

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: the past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.”—Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

FROM NUMBNESS

When we split from Self, we become our own enemy. We deem some core part of Self unacceptable or unsafe and expend huge amounts of energy in an effort to contain and subdue that part.

Sometimes the numbness soothes.

Sometimes it smothers.

Especially in trauma, we move to extremes.

Where we once sought freedom from overwhelming sensations, we eventually embody the separation: fully numb, divorced from life, split from Self, desperately seeking a way to feel real again, to feel connected to others and to life … to feel anything but the empty nothingness we sought and created.

The experience changes from one person to the next. For some, it may be less conscious or intentional. Maybe awareness of behaviors comes from the feedback of others as they accuse you of being irritable or irrational. Maybe they point out how analytical you’ve become, how rigid you’ve become in your rules and boundaries in some apparent quest to manufacture security.

Sometimes the extremes seem less extreme. Especially from a patterned “freeze” response or “learned helplessness,” the only noticing may be more of a familiar giving up, an acceptance of circumstance, buying in to the belief that this is all there is. From the perspective of onlookers—seeing your shoulders fall, your head drop slightly—it might look like a physical collapse.

Character development over the years, adapting around ongoing waves of trauma, commonly moves toward extremes of highly responsible or irresponsible behavior—rigid or chaotic. It might be a complex blend of both, creating artificial structure to protect and control, then engaging in high-risk behaviors to drown out or anesthetize the pain.

Sometimes there’s just the safety of the same old patterns.

Sometimes an anger rises against that monotony. That part contains screams out from inside of you.

Whether it feels safe or not, that unknown, incessant core part of Self keeps making itself known, keeps drawing your attention.

TO OVERWHELM

Coming back into your body often means a return to the original overwhelm.

Sometimes we can feel it coming. Other times, we are so split from our bodily senses that we don’t feel the pain until it’s too intense to ignore. It might feel like an instant move from “just fine” to overwhelm. What would it be like to drive a car with a speedometer that shows zero or 100 but nothing in between?

“Trauma changes the insula, the self-awareness systems. Traumatized people often become insensible to themselves. They find it difficult to sense pleasure and to feel engaged. These understandings force us to use methods to awaken the sensory modalities in the person.”—Bessel van der Kolk

Sometimes the only way out is through … through the natural physical sequence of fight or flight—whatever motor pattern that represents in your body, whatever unfinished story it represents in your behavior. Sometimes this requires the help of a trauma recovery life coach or therapist, including a therapeutic process of training and resourcing, developing a bond of trust and a mindful grounding in the present moment. The accessing of uncomfortable physical sensations (and state-dependent beliefs that come with the sensations) can become a healing experience rather than a confirmation of negative beliefs formed at a time when you felt incapable of meeting the occasion.

Some people find a grounding, resensitizing support in nature. Others find a necessary social/attachment support in structured groups. For some, it might be yoga or martial arts that return your body to a felt sense of control. Many therapists, particularly those trained in trauma or body-based experiential approaches, come equipped to help a person internalize (to gradually take in, to incorporate into his or her character) an experience and a knowing of safety and control with Self and with Other (the therapist). Whatever the method, for those who have separated from their bodily self, the move to incorporate bodily sensation into their awareness often proves to be a life-altering process.

TO MANAGEABLE PAIN

Sometimes it’s in the shower, cooking a meal, sitting in a garden, or “being” with a therapist. The nervous system drops to a calm hum, the physical containment ceases, and the memories process, unbidden, unstopped. And finally, in stillness, with internal safety and compassion, we observe, feel, accept, and integrate. Sometimes the body shakes—with or without tears. And after all the years of struggle, sometimes a gentle sadness lingers.

Once the overwhelm is past and underlying truths are part of present awareness, only grieving remains. Each new level of awareness brings with it a comparison between what was and what could have been—grieving for the time lost, missed opportunities in life, unmet wishes, past distractions from this centered place of living.

There may be decades of fighting the overwhelm of grieving, and then just the simple, natural, bodily directed process of grieving. No longer does one part of the body expend energy containing the “unwanted” energy of another part. No longer is it “too much” to bear. It just is. We are able to sit with the experience without reaction, without separation, with nonjudgmental presence. It might be less letting go and more letting be.

TO JOY

Emerging on the other side of pain, many people find new connections. Many find that the quality of external integration echoes the quality of internal integration, and once Self is internally acceptable, we begin attracting others who also accept and value those parts of Self that we truly value, that perhaps we preserved in hiding so many years.

“If you are divided from your body, you are also divided from the body of the world, which then appears to be other than you or separate from you, rather than the living continuum to which you belong.”—Philip Shepherd, author of New Self, New World

IF YOU LIKED THIS ARTICLE PLEASE LIKE OR COMMENT BELOW �� SO I KNOW THIS WAS A HELPFUL RESOURCE **

⭐️SHINE BRIGHT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE!! ⭐️